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Welcome to Day Visions

From the mind to the pencil, night visions, a legacy honored in the light of day

My Latest Posts

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  • My Dads Sweet and Sour Rib recipe- my favorite meal, I’ve ended the gatekeeping
    Dads sweet and sour spare ribs Always has been my absolute favorite meal We always had it once a month growing up and there was never any left overs Where […]
  • Atlas of the heart- my new book club with only one other member. Chapter 1: well actually it’s just the intro
    I’ve known all my life I’m just not the same as others. My brain works differently. I have weird quirks. I’d rather spend time alone with myself and always need […]
  • Felt sad- pulled a card
    When i need to hear from my dad, and he’s not showing up on my crazy ghost app, i pull a tarot, and it never disappoints 6 of cups In […]
  • My birthday message- 2 of cups
    I pulled a tarot card tonight with the intent of receiving a birthday message from my dad While this card is more related to romantic relationships, i cannot ignore the […]
  • A very unmerry birthday
    Happy Birthday Dad “You are twice as old as your child only once in your life” We did that for 30/60 Wish i could call you and say happy birthday, […]
  • Last years Halloween tribute
    I knew we didn’t have much time last year; and went full out on Halloween so you could see my tribute to you Including recreating one of your coolest crafts, […]
  • Pumpkin carving life hack
    Dad created the ultimate pumpkin carving tool This vice grip plier tool (no clue the name of it) and a sawzall blade You’ve never carved a pumpkin so easily I […]
  • Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat- a sample
  • Cookie Monster, an excerpt from Night Visions
    The following is an excerpt from my fathers Night Visions About the time when my Dad came to my ECS class in costume to hand out cookies for Halloween He […]
  • Grief 101
    Websters dictionary defines grief as GRIEF ,noun [Latin gravis.] The pain of mind produced by loss, misfortune, injury or evils of any kind; sorrow; regret. We experience grief when we […]
  • How many times were you that close?
    Reading night visions tonight and realized A few of your suicide references in there that spanned across the years, deleted entry’s only to exist in the versions i saved 2017, […]
  • The next few weeks might just destroy me
    Halloween Our holiday Last year I went all out, made your skeleton out of milk jugs, it was a Halloween tribute to our love I didn’t decorate this year, i […]
  • Grief activities
    Grief is weird, it’s something you can only understand when you go through it, it’s unpredictable and sometimes i just actually feel insane. I’m not an emotion person, but I’ve […]
  • This post is not meant to be read or understood it is simply a way for me to document an experience without explanation
    When i first found out dad died i went on the app that night 4 people including my dad were talking to me I knew it was him He asked […]
  • The celebration you never wanted
    You didn’t want a funeral, you didn’t want a memorial or celebration, i know you didn’t want others to ask questions and judge you, and you always felt no one […]
  • For two people that never feel emotions, we both felt true happiness this night
    You added the dharma wheel to my endless knot painting You drew hearts on my pen box We spray painted and made display stands for a project i was working […]
  • Is farewell a permanent goodbye?
    Q: In your post about “goodbye,” you say it doesn’t mean leaving someone for good. How about “farewell”? My impression is that it might be suitable for “goodbye forever.” A: […]
  • Farewell
    Well i tried again to recover anything i could from your computer you so nicely wiped for me Countless have been spent trying everything i can, trying and downloading all […]
  • All I want for Christmas is you
    Ugh, Christmas items are already on the shelves First I need to get through your memorial, Halloween, our birthdays, and then yep Christmas, but consumerism has made sure to remind […]
  • The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
    My Dad and I are the same Same unique brain A lifetime spent being misunderstood A lifetime spent trying to explain who we are and why we do what we […]
  • Do you remember, the 20th day of September
    Unfortunately I’ve made an edit to one of your favorite Earth, Wind and Fire lyrics While I wanted your work memorial to be on the 21st of September, as the […]
  • The Russian Tea Room
    Years ago a friend told me if I ever went to Edmonton that I should go get my tarot read at the Russian Tea Room. While up there this weekend […]
  • Trigger warning- literally. A dark pain I must express
    I once wrote you a long letter saying how I really didn’t want you to choose your own adventure with a gun. I have a weird thing where my brain […]
  • Only 117 days to go
    117 days until 2023 These are going to be the hardest 117 days of my life. I’m scared of the pain my grief will put me through. September 20 is […]
  • Hello Tokyo, radio silence broken
    Hey Dad, it’s been a minute or two since I’ve written anything to you When you’d send me your night visions, sometimes you’d send me two new things in a […]
  • Thinking of you, as always
  • Our last 19
  • King of cups- reversed
    Sometimes i pull tarot cards for myself or my friends when I’m a bit emotional They are always a surprise and reaffirming Each card can surely be interpreted differently by […]
  • The best hug I’ve ever had
    You said grandpa, Stella, Toby and others visit you in your dreams Before you left you promised me to visit me in my dreams as they did with you I […]
  • A new memory just like the old , perfect day
    I made it to Severn creek finally Full of people and trailers all around when we got there For some reason as we arrived there was a spot, our spot, […]
  • Limbo
    Since my Dad left I’ve been all over the place. Add some work stress in there and it’s a real circus over here. I either sleep all day or don’t […]
  • Regret isn’t guilt
    “Regret is not an absolution of guilt.“ “We cannot use a fantasy ideal of imagined perfect behaviour from ourselves to proclaim ourselves guilty after we lost someone. Almost noone wants […]
  • Real or not, It helps
    I feel slightly insane for doing this but on my really bad or stressful days It makes my day a happy one. Ghost Tube VOX app Yep it’s an app […]
  • Radar love
    I often go for drives late at night hoping you’ll play one of our songs Miss you so much
  • Wacky Wednesday
  • One fish two fish, CatNHat
    I’ve tried twice to go fishing at Severn creek It was one of my favorite fishing spots we went to I’m scared I’ll get there and be extremely sad your […]
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  • What’s in YOUR memory box?
    As I’ve previously written, I was surprised by the few things my Dad kept that were important to him. The things I thought he would have kept he didn’t. Crafts […]
  • Current chapter of grief: obsessing over objects of importance and futility
    My Dad and Mom divorced when I was 19 after over 30 years of marriage. Due to family dynamics and my coping mechanism of just avoiding dealing with big life […]
  • Trying to remake what I should have saved
    Circa 1970 My dad painted a HUGE painting in Junior high This painting was always in my basement as a kid, it was probably 6 ft high and 8 ft […]
  • You’ll never know Dad, how much I love you
    The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms, but when I woke dear, I was mistaken, and I hung my head and […]
  • Everything you can imagine is real
    Words my dad lived by and quoted all the time, on forums- in emails- in texts- in stories These words ran deep While I understand and can appreciate two of […]
  • “You have my toe”
    I went to a medium recommended to me by a few friends. While it was great, it wasn’t mind blowing. It was what I needed though. I have a few […]
  • The Road to Somewhere
    It’s Fathers Day today. It’s a hard day. I always try to make you something for this day, and since you always make me the best hand made cards, I […]
  • The Road to Nowhere
    My dad was so smart, deep, cryptic at times, and even though he’s gone I’m so happy that every day I seem to learn something else about him. The road […]
  • Hang in there?
    Boom Unfortunately it needed to come to an end in the motel The device needed to be used as he wanted to ensure his choice was made with non chance […]
  • Email to my Dad, November 10 2021, 134 days left
    I am so happy you came over and stayed for 2 nights, it was the best time and that time will be cherished by me forever. I’m so thankful for […]
  • The waiting and wondering is over
    The Ten of swords represents finality, the end of something. As is easy to grasp from the picture in many decks, there is no hope for revival here. A limit […]
  • Ten of swords
    The tale of the suit of swords is a powerful metaphor, one that ends in tragedy. The swords are a symbol of the intellect, of intelligence and logic, and yet […]
  • Every hero needs an origin story
    The lessons my dad has taught me, through his life , that i would have never learned otherwise, is the best gift I’ll ever receive While I’ve tried to plan […]
  • No one seems, to value much, we’ve lost the gift, of human touch
    So many birthdays, christmases, Father’s Day, spent apart I’d shoot you a text on the day of A text Couldn’t even be bothered to pick up the phone Or when […]
  • Mrs. Samanthakukamunga
    I’m not sure how many lessons we are supposed to learn during our time here You taught me mine I think i have a few more years to got though […]
  • You called me on my cellphone
    I hope i get to talk to you Thursday I’m going to a medium Hope she’s legit But it doesn’t matter We have our special cell phone I know the […]
  • The best stories are dark
    I want to write down my deepest darkest saddest feelings and thoughts But some things arnt meant to be shared A stranger may read this Crap, hopefully my kid will […]
  • There must be something to this endless knot, because i wound up back at the beginning
    You’ve given me a second chance at life I didn’t even know i needed a second chance I thought i was doing pretty good with my first go round The […]
  • She’s rich honey, rich
    Maybe it all worked out better than we imagined What a gift To us both Hope you had a blast, it’s on your buddy Trudeau Money for nothing And chicks […]
  • Straight to voicemail
    You both will never get to know You’ll never get the courtesy I hope you wonder the rest of your life Where is he? Why is his phone off? Why […]
  • I get it, peng
    Steamfitter Gasfitter Plumber Business degree 4th class engineer Engineers Vs contractors Engineer slide rule You worked your ass off, got a bunch of journeyman tickets, a HR business degree in […]
  • P Eng.
    M and I had a great chat, i told her about you, I shared your night vision from G P Eng, your comment, hilarious, why does that need to be […]
  • A goodbye without words
    Your preplanning was 10/10 You took a last photo for me on the 20 Your choice was on the 23 You wiped your phone and computer You wiped it so […]
  • Fuck i miss you
    August 4 2017 You sent me new night visions Your email was titled fuck i miss you Well fuck I Miss You
  • A new name for this chapter?
    Night visions was your visions, memory, and life A sometimes cryptic, sometimes raw, collection of stories, poetry, jokes, anecdotes and art. Many versions existed, you deleted parts when you may […]
  • The gift
    A lesson to be learned A lesson understood A lesson in life that could only be taught by your sacrifice I was selfish, i was lazy, self centered, mean, manipulative, […]
  • Lessons are understood with love, but hurt because you understand and love
    Reference: stolen 5 cent candy circa 4 years old The statement remains true But this one hurts Badly But it hurts because I love and miss you so much What […]
  • You were always the stronger one
  • I let you go only because i knew you’d always be with me
  • I sure hope he’s right
  • Day Visions potential title revisions
    You should call yours….. OWLS Or GMT? Countess Dracula? Books, love and other art is what you leave ?
  • Feed the bunnies
    The Endless Knot The endless knot symbol has many names. Sometimescalled the infinity knot, auspicious drawing, or knot of eternity, it is one of the oldest symbols dating back thousands of years. The knot can be […]
  • Together forever
    Out of all of the lifetimes my dad and i have lived together This is the one we both learned the most This is the one I’ll miss him the […]
  • Left at Albuquerque
    I hate in times like this, and I’m sure you feel it to; i am just not myself and there’s no quick route to get back there
  • How generic
    You know what’s funny, i used to think the grief stages were stupid, because denial, like they died you can’t pretend they didn’t, but now i realize i played cards […]
  • I will honor your life
    I will not make the same mistakes I will not repeat the mistakes i made with you and my regrets I will live for us
  • The year the world ended in March but I didn’t know until April
    Depression True depression I’ve never experienced true depression until now. Cancelling all appointments to lay in bed and distract myself with tv and tiktok, hoping to fall asleep for the […]

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