I was chatting with my older neighbor today as her son substance problems have gotten very bad. I love her son and I’ve known him sober and not sober. He’s got a heart of gold. We talked about how it’s always the really genuine nice and kind people that seem to have the biggest demons. She said “Its heartbreaking..happens to tge best people..I’ll bet your dad was the best when he was his regular self”.

and he was

My dad was really was the nicest guy with the biggest heart that would help anyone out (and that also was a detriment to his last years financially). He was super smart and never boasted but he always wanted to mentor new trades people or share his knowledge. He was the most interesting guy in the world and the best father, he always tried his best to hide his struggles and i actually had no clue up until i was in my last year of high school that he was struggling with alcohol. In reality he was at this time a full blown alcoholic and also a full blown cocaine addict. But he kept his senior position at his job and we were always going camping or fishing or to do activities together. Before this we spent over a month together on a huge road trip to the states and i had zero clue he was having a maintenance beer he needed to function while he gassed up the truck and hid out of my sight. I had no clue for many years and he always kept it together around me for the most part even after that for holidays and when he visit. He also walked me down the isle and came to my wedding and we had our dance together. He didn’t stay all night but years later he told me that was the longest he had ever gone without any substances because he didn’t want to disappoint or embarrass me. His social anxiety to have to interact with 209 people he didn’t know, also have to tolerate interactions with my mom as they were long divorced at that time, and also be center stage having everyone in the room watch him dance with me. He did it, he was great, and i can’t believe he was completely sober for that. Again, i didn’t even know the actual depths of his addiction that had escalated even further at that time since he always was good at hiding it from me, and now i realize just how hard that probably was for him and how much he loved me to do that.

My dad was the best dad and he still is.

love you dad