Since my Dad left I’ve been all over the place. Add some work stress in there and it’s a real circus over here.

I either sleep all day or don’t sleep. Drinking and chain smoking for hours. Put on quite a few pounds. Poor husband he’s been so good at just letting me do whatever I need to.

I have also been painting and crafting, my creative outlet, mostly things related to my Dad.

I know my Dad taught me a life lesson. I want to get my shit together. I want to live an amazing life for us both.

I want to get back in shape or at least fit into my pants again. Normal sleep. Normal activities. Normal life.

I have goals and plans, things i want to do, things i want to achieve, and things I want to do for my dad.

My life for the last 4 years has just been one shit show after another. I can’t catch a break. It seems after I finally feel life has calmed down the next disaster happens.

Living in constant fight or flight is my normal now.

Where do I even begin. Even small tasks I set for myself seem insurmountable.

I am in a forever limbo and don’t know how to escape.