My dad was so smart, deep, cryptic at times, and even though he’s gone I’m so happy that every day I seem to learn something else about him.

The road to nowhere- talking heads

This is what my Dad had to say about the song and it’s meaning and why he sent it to me

This is cool

David Byrne

Like tomorrow hanks in cast away

Ends where it starts

The interpretation of this song is that death is the only certainty in life, it’s not about the destination but the journey, and instead of thinking what lies ahead just enjoy the ride

I pulled out my old old IPhone4 to see if there was anything on there from my dad i wanted to keep.

I found a photo of a drawing he made in 2011. I remember this drawing and it was on his wall in his office. Being 19 at the time I had no clue the depths and symbolism he included and what exactly the drawing expressed.

While it’s not the best photo, the meaning is still very clear.

At the bottom we have the talking heads, singing road to no where. Along the road we have first a man’s face (my dad or possibly grandpa). There’s also a heart in between a toilet (my dad was a plumber) and a beaker (he loved chemistry). As the road continues there is a female face (me, his daughter), our dog Toby, a tree and a Canadian and American flag, representing his love for traveling and camping through North America (I’ve been everywhere man)

As the road continues to wind, there is another symbol i can’t make out, with some gloomy clouds. At the end of the now ominous road stands a broken heart. The ladder to leaving this life is all that is left. The constellation is of Orion (as my dad believed his spirit was from Orion’s Belt).

When I was 19 this seemed to just be a disorganized sketch.

I now see that my dad was expressing all of the things he loved on his life road, but as the road continues the happy memories dwindle until there is just a road. As his life continued and his mental health and struggles increased he was broken hearted and disheartened to live in misery and was at the end of his road to where ready to climb the ladder and leave this world to go back home.

I did not realize my father had been so depressed, unfulfilled and living in pure sadness and misery for so many years. I have found many hidden meanings he left me to discover, and was completely blind to his ways of expressing himself and maybe even reaching out for help.

My dad put on a brave face for me until I was old enough to see his misery and didnt need him to tell me. He also shared alot of his art with me, and started his Night Visions writings.

I’ll admit this now, I should have taken more of an interest in what he shared with me. I Should have actually looked at his art, or read his updated Night Visions, instead of putting them in an archive inbox and saying I’ll get to it later.

He was pouring his heart out to me in the only way he was able to express himself. I feel honored to be the one person he trusted to be able to reveal his true self and struggles. Sorry it took me 10 years to finally understand.