I havnt written for awhile.

I have nothing to write.

I am living in limbo waiting for my dads rebirthday.

It’s like I’m numb, i havnt cried in awhile.

im still up all hours of the night but instead of creating and processing my feelings, I’m either going down the rabbit hole for the 20th time on my dads phone, or watching Tik tok for hours.

I’ve been mentally absent from most things. I don’t have the capacity to give my best to my friends or family. I’m frozen in time.

Limbo.

I am scared to start feeling again. I’m scared the next month will be overwhelming. If i start feeling to soon then I’m not sure what is going to happen.

Tonight I forced myself to be creative and do something to at least acknowledge my feelings.

These are unfinished but I feel I need to share the art I’ve made for my dad. Hiding it away like I hide my feelings only lowers the limbo stick.

Endless knot. Kindred souls. Fishing. Dharma wheel. Zinc and gold. Orion’s Belt. Cat n hat. Green eggs and ham. Wacky Wednesday. Spirit animals. Plumbobs. Fishing tackle. Crabs. I’d love to recreate this on a better medium one day.

One day.

This one was just my desire to try out my new markers. I may finish it one day.

One day.

If my life was a play, this year would be my intermission.