Hey Dad, it’s been a minute or two since I’ve written anything to you

When you’d send me your night visions, sometimes you’d send me two new things in a week, sometimes you add onto it a year later, each version you deleted or added some sort of story poem or joke, sometimes you included articles, then you started including your drawings. I understand why you were so sporadic with your written words.

How boring would this be if every day i wrote: sad today, or tolerably sad today, or terribly sad today. What a bore.

Just like you I write to help me process and feel my emotions. I also draw and create just like you, but these written entries are the most meaningful.

I know you won’t take my keyboard silence as a bad thing. In fact, I’m sure you’ve been watching what I’ve been up to these days

Instead of writing sad stories and spending nights unable to sleep thinking about you, I’ve been living life for us both.

I’ve done more camping this summer then i have since I was a kid and we camped. I’ve gone fishing to our fave spot, i went camping to our favorite place (thanks for the 16 rainbows!). I’ve gone to local attractions I’ve always wanted to, went to learn about bees, took square dancing lessons, learned disc golf, created art, laughed alot, and spent more time with my friends and family than I ever have before.

You’ve made me stop being comfortable being alone. You’ve made me want to try new things, and everything i can, weird or not, i want to try it. You’ve made me reconnect with the outdoors again.

And yes, I’ve finally booked the birthday present you got me years ago. A flight and helicopter lesson. I always had excuses, my shoulder, covid, time to do it, but I’m scared. That is precisely the reason you bought me that in the first place.

It’s funny i feel like life lately is almost the end scene of Titanic, where you see all the photos of Rose and the amazing things she’s done in life, like fly a plane.

I’m living for us both, and I’ve needed to get back to living for a long time. Thank you for being my Jack.