The lessons my dad has taught me, through his life , that i would have never learned otherwise, is the best gift I’ll ever receive

While I’ve tried to plan out how to write this, for me, for others, for my children, it’s simply to much to put into words

While his origin story is important, and i hope i don’t get it wrong I’m working off of his writings and our conversations, i don’t know it all. I don’t know everything about my dads life, because he hid the bad parts from me; but also shared his bad pieces with me.

My dad and I are one, I will never love another soul like I loved him, I will never feel as connected or understood by anyone else in this lifetime. That’s why i learned my lesson from him, because he’s the only one that could have taught me. My dad is my hero. I will love and miss him forever. Thank you dad.

“You are who you are because of the things that happened in your first 10 years of life”

Dr Brendan Croskery

Ba, MBA, MEd, Dr, teacher, fly fisherman

Circa 1949

Frank was back home in drumheller after serving in the Air Force in the Second World War. He was back to coal mining sixteen tons a day to be able to afford all of the luxuries his wife Betty desired. Betty liked candy as a child and had to get most of her teeth pulled. Dentures were expensive, as well as all of her mink fur coats.

Baby boy Gary arrived and the three of them moved on up into the big city where Frank became a carpenter. Eventually he was the head of the carpentry department with the Calgary school board. He did well for himself and his family all while sporting a smile on his face.

Gary was the golden boy and the apple of Betty’s eye. They put him in hockey and sports and whatever Gary desired Gary got.

Circa 1958

Gary is 9. Frank and Betty decide to have another child. Betty secretly is hoping for a girl and cannot imagine a different scenario.

In November, the season of the scorpios, Dale was born.

Dale always felt alone from the start. Betty was absorbed with Gary; Frank was busy working, Dale never really got to know Gary because he was 10 years older than him. From a young age Gary was already selfish, entitled and mean. An ugly soul.

Dale didn’t get to play hockey because Gary was already in hockey. Shoestring budgets back then and I don’t think Frank could have worked any harder.

Dale never got the chance to really make any friends. Betty wanted him to always accompany her on her shopping trips to the Bay. She wanted a girl to shop with. Dale was doomed.

Dale would finally get home from Bay Days on the bus and race to try to see his friends in the neighborhood. Betty always liked to give him a very early curfew so that he would miss out on socializing and having friends throughout his childhood. Just because she could i guess.

He never learned how to socialize. He felt alone and abandoned from the start. He didn’t feel good enough always being compared to Gary. Not being the little girl Betty desired. The first 10 years of life were not that kind to Dale.

So as he grew up; he discovered a way to fix all his insecurities. What is something that makes socializing easier with an added boost of confidence?

Alcohol

Dale started drinking in Junior high to fit in and make friends. He enjoyed his new found rebellious attitude and social life that drinking gave him.

As high school approached Dale was enjoying being a rebel in full force. Fast muscle cars, motorcycles, sex drugs rock and roll.

He Dropped out of high school. Who needs school when your living life in the fast lane. He was going to start working a job in a warehouse. Frank came home from his carpentry job at the cbe and said you can be hired as a plumbing apprentice tomorrow.

And that was it. 35 years of plumbing, steam fitting, gas fitting, and engineering only because there was an opening and he took the opportunity. It had to be fate.

There’s so many stories my dad has shared with me about his life. I could never possibly do his life justice by trying to narrate for him.

That’s why we have night visions. Another amazing gift he has left me.

When I initially started writing Dales origin story, I thought it was going to be dark an ominous. But it really just brought back alot of great memories for me sharing stories with my dad.

I’ll leave the dark parts for another chapter. This is just the beginning.