Your preplanning was 10/10

You took a last photo for me on the 20

Your choice was on the 23

You wiped your phone and computer

You wiped it so good that hours and many sleepless nights downloading all the phone and computer recovery software i could find (even paid for some) didn’t get me anything

At first i was pissed, you deleted night visions, you deleted our life

You never said goodbye, or wrote me anything, an email, a phone call or text from your burner numbers, nothing

But you left me your phone, and left me the best parts of you

I realize i didn’t need to see all your texts or emails or dark parts of your life you clearly didn’t want me to see

You left me a phone full of your favorite photos and memories, 152 photos, and then an app with albums of your travel photos

You made your phone for me as a goodbye

Without saying goodbye

You saved all out of songs we had together, and songs that described your life and feelings, for me to have and find what each song meant

Your bookmarks were simply 3 songs, forever young and money for nothing, you wanted me to see those important ones

You downloaded billy Joel the stranger on Apple Music, then deleted it, i recovered it, a song I’m sure described you, and me, and maybe you didn’t want me to see that one but i did

You were shielding me from your darkness, from hurt, from trying to change your decision

We had our time in November, we knew we were saying goodbye

I was mad i didn’t get the written goodbye i wanted, there i go being selfish again,

You made me a whole phone of the best of you and our life, to say goodbye without words, because i don’t think either of us would be able to have said goodbye

You put so much time into making your phone for me, to show how much you loved me, to show me your best parts of your entire life not just ours, and to show me your feelings and reflections without words

Some of the songs are ours, some apply to our life and how much we loved each other, those songs also have meanings about a love lost, you loved mom and had regrets, but you were who you were and i understand you.

You were not a stranger to me

And i will no longer be a stranger to myself

You are my sunshine

….until we meet…..

Love you forever